4 GURLS ONLY!! BOYS KEPT OUT!!!

THINGS GUYS THINK GIRLS SHOULD KNOW

1. We're not as big of perverts as you think we all are.
2.. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is an @ssho*e.
3.. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4.. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5.. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6.. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7.. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8.. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9.. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10.. We never shave our legs. Get over it.
11.. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
12.. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13.. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14.. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15.. We may not be able to pee acurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16.. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you
don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong".
17.. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18.. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19.. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might just get what you wish for.
20.. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say".
21.. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22.. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23.. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship
24.. PMS is not an excuse.
25.. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26.. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27.. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.....and maybe....oh nevermind.
28.. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.

MAN

 

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: Xy

Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 50

Physical Properties: Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find pure sample.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Women any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kid (element: child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Women, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

That's how men are!
Ungrateful and never satisfied.
When you don't have them,
They hate you because you won't.
And when you do have them,
They hate you again, for some reason.
Or for no reason at all,
Except that they are discontented children,
And can't be satisfied whatever they get,
Let a woman do what she may.

99 FACTS BOUT GUYS!!!!!!!!!!

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. .......dont think so

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands......yeh rite - watever

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ......so tru

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.......very tru

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. .......sumtimes

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!......very tru

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.....sumtimes depends wen we want sumat

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"......sumtimes.

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him....very important.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ....we love u regardless

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!......true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
 

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed by you or he's criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact. ......sumtimes

99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

THE PERFECT MAN.........

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too.
He'll do anything in his power
To show his love to you.
The perfect man is sweet,
Writing poetry from your name.
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He has never made you cry
Or hurt you in any way.
Oh, "to hell with this stupid poem,"
"Cause the perfect man is gay!"

WHAT WOMEN WANT IN MEN?

Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses smartly.
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at her jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one good tie & socks
8. Appreciates her home-cooked meals, makes tea for her
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week (with her ofcourse !)

Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly ( bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until she's seated in the car
3. Passes the TV remote to her willingly when she asks.
4. Nods head when she's talking (vertically, not horizontally ! )
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Still agrees to visit her parents house.
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when she's talking
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh undergarments
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Talks to her relatives when they call up on phone
10. Shaves some weekends

Revised List (age 62):
1. Remembers where the bathroom is
2. Doesn't spend much time in the bathroom
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes (his clothes)
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2.Doesn't miss the toilet
3. Still Loves her

KISSING RULES!!!!!

Article 1 : Statement of Love - The Kiss.

1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends.

3. Kiss on the neck... I want you.

4. Kiss on the lips... I love you.

5. Kiss on the ears...I am just playing.

6. Kiss anywhere else... lets not get carried away.

7. Look in your eyes...means... kiss me.

8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you.

9. Hands on your waist... I love you too much to let you go.



Article 2 : The Three Steps.

1. Girls: If any guy gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, kiss her.

3. Guys and Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.



Article 3 : The Commandments.

1. Thou shall not squeeze to hard.

2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one.

3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
 

HI BEAUTIFUL!!!

Facts On Figures: There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models and only eight who do.

Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14?


If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions!


The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14.
One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.


The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!!! - NOT Perfect!!

A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a Fashion Magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and SHAMEFUL!

Models 20 years ago weighed 8% Less than the average Woman.

Today they weigh 23% less......

~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

An English professor wrote the words: "WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING" on the blackboard, and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, WITHOUT HER MAN, is nothing."

The women wrote: "WOMAN!! WITHOUT HER, man is nothing!"

The Images of a Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF GE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . .